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ONLY CONNECTA friend recently returned from an emotional pilgrimage to Turkey. He and other Armenian-Americans were in search of their lost roots, the villages and homes from which their parents and grandparents were expelled during the Armenian genocide. What struck me was his description of two very different pilgrim experiences. There were the impatient pilgrims, interested only in finding their own ancestors' homes or villages; the journeys of other pilgrims held little interest for them. And so the whole trip seemed too arduous, too drawn out, and oftentimes boring for them. My friend's experience was different. He identified with and involved himself in everyone's exploration. "I felt like we were on a common quest, and each person's search was very moving for me," he said. "When someone finally found the site of their ancestor's home or village or the well from which a grandparent drew water, he would cry, and I would cry with him. And when I found the site of my father's home, I cried and others cried with me." His story struck me as a metaphor of two very different life journeys. The one is the journey of the isolated "I"s, self-centered, obsessed solely with the drama of our individual lives; and the other is the journey of connection, being with others and allowing them to be with us. Finding as much satisfaction in moving others ahead in their journeys as in being moved ahead in our own. As the poet Auden
said, "Only connect." More Insights From Barry Oshry In Our ArchivesSpaces |
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