Compiled by Kathi Geisler from email support group messages

Using a cane becomes a necessary reality for many of us. For some of us, this decision will be easy. We recognize we need it, buy one, and off we go.

For others, however, adopting a cane can be fraught with nervousness, embarrassment, anxiety and even shame. We may put it off for far too long, risking our safety and reducing our mobility, ease, and personal comfort.

Here are some good reasons to get a cane:

• Everyone you have come in contact with already knows you have difficulty walking

• The cane does not lessen you as an individual, it simply states to the public and friends you are using an aide to walk

• You will find once you begin using it, people don't stare, they respect the fact you use it

• It will lessen fatigue

• You will walk with more ease and not lose your balance 

Below is an article from one individual who has shared her experiences of adopting a cane, and a collection of comments our email groups.

From Liz Nussear:

When I was a child of 4, I went on a walk with my Grandmother. We walked down the street to the corner store, which had candy that I loved. I noticed her "funny " walk, which was quickly brushed off when I questioned it. We never discussed further. Little did I know…

My Grandmother moved in to our home when I was 8. She bought a wheelchair after breaking a hip. I rode the wheelchair until my Mother told me to leave it, saying that, "you shouldn't use it till you have to use one." Little did I know…

It is now 35 years later, and I am the 3rd generation of known HSPers. Recently, my balance was becoming a major problem. I used the walls at home for support; however, expensive new wallpaper was going to put a stop to that practice. The more critical issue, though, was my difficulty at work getting around. I couldn't support myself with the walls, my desk, the copier, the printer and then the fax machine to walk over to obtain a cup of coffee and then walk it safely back to my desk.

My mother, who by 73 was using 2 canes, suggested I purchase a cane to help with my gait and balance. I had been a member of the HSP group Listserv, where others shared their experiences and thoughts regarding assistive devices, so the cane issue was not foreign to me.

I purchased my first cane from House of Canes. It was beautiful - colorful and full of expression. However, it was quite comfortable on the chair in the living room. It stayed there for several days, because it didn't think it wanted to go with me to work.

After some nudging from members of the HSP Listserv group, it finally left the house and rode with me to work. However, it stayed in the back seat for a couple of days. After more encouragement, it finally walked in to work with me one early spring morning. Once others saw it, there was complete acceptance. They picked it up and said it was beautiful. Little did I know..

Others see the difficulties we have with HSP, and at times maybe their eyes are "clearer" than ours are. Denial keeps us from having things that make our lives easier, more accepting - not only for ourselves, but also to society. I am sorry I fought my third leg for so long. Little did I know…

This has been an interesting journey, full of surprises, and challenges. I look to my third leg as an assistive helper. I can lean on it, open push-button handicap doors, chase mice at work, kill bugs, straighten ceiling tiles…one never knows. I have now purchased my 2nd cane, a very good expression of who Liz is, as it should be. Little did I know.... Thank God I know now...

Excerpts from discussions regarding canes

• It was difficult for me to start using a cane. I finally had to, as I was losing my balance a lot, and I am sure I looked pretty silly (drunk). I got a beautiful one; that was important to me. I still have it, but have since gotten many more.

• Yes, it is hard, but you know what...we have to accept it...what else can we do? We need to make the best of it and carry on. It helps to develop a good support team. I have a super support team of friends/family and who are there for me.

• By the way, when I finally got the cane and went to work with it for the first time, a co-worker said, "it is about time you got a cane…"

• Some people have expressed unwillingness or a fear of helping themselves by using a cane. Granted if you're not to the point that it's needed, I agree, why use one. But to worry about what other people think and use that as a reason not to go that route when necessary is counter productive. Plus, family and true friends will accept you no matter your method of locomotion. And for those who don't, you don't need and probably wouldn't want to spend time with anyway.

• Buy a pretty one! Feel fashionable!

• It is much better to be seen with the cane and have the physical condition acknowledged, then to have other's stare and wonder "what"?…"

• We have to be realistic. People can see that we have a problem walking. No one at work challenged my cane. They saw daily as I walked by them that I had a problem. I was the one with the problem of acceptance, and how I thought they would feel about it. I wasted a lot of energy on that one. The first 10 minutes are the hardest, but then it will be a relief to be so accepted by those you spend MOST of your alerted time of the day with.

• It was interesting. People opened doors for me, and were smiling. I don't think they would have reacted that way had I been in my earlier mode. I would have looked a bit "angry" as I was struggling around, all the time wondering if people were noticing. If people see that you have the cane, and accept it with a positive attitude, it is no big deal.

• I have used one off and on for about three years. I use it when I go shopping and at places where there are crowds. It helps me to maintain my balance. I have noticed when I use my cane, people are much more considerate. They will step aside instead of running into me, and if I jostle someone by mistake, they accept my 'excuse me' instead of muttering some profanity.

• I was being too proud to use any help. One day while walking down the cubicle aisle I fell down and about 8 people came over to help me up. I immediately went to the store and got my first cane. All of my co-workers and others had no problems with it, actually some of them said they were happy to see me using the cane, as they knew it would help me to be more stable.

• My experience with canes is that it gave my disability legitimacy. It was a symbol that I indeed had a physical disability. Maybe this should not be necessary and maybe people shouldn't make judgments without knowing the facts; but the cane helped people to comprehend what I was dealing with. I honestly get fewer stares from people when I use my cane than I did when I was staggering around like a drunk. They can see that I have a problem and am taking steps to address it. Sure, it identified me in a unique way. But this disorder is going to do that anyway.

• I found that I got supportive comments from my co-workers when I started using my cane. I also found that the looks/stares from others I didn't know stopped/lessened as it became less of an issue to them. I use it all the time and as someone else related, I consider it a portable handrail.

• I was living in Honduras when I started using a cane. Maybe that made it easier; we had just moved there and didn't know too many people. I did field research in agriculture, so I started using the cane just when I was doing fieldwork.

• As time went on, I found when I didn't use the cane, people often asked me if something was wrong (which didn't bother me too much since I look like something is wrong). Adults never inquire, but children often ask me what it is for. I tell them I need "three legs," and make a bit of a joke of it, although I always make sure I tell them clearly that I use it because I can't walk very well without it. Children love to try and walk with it.

• I not only use the cane for balance - I also use it when I am tired and for support. I don't use it all the time, but it is handy to have one for difficult situations. Because those situations are sometimes difficult to anticipate, I almost always carry it with me when I go out.

• My kids don't seem to mind it. In fact, I had been using it for a couple of years before it occurred to them that a cane was associated with the word handicapped. As far as they are concerned, I do whatever other parents do, but I just use a cane.

Cane Tips:

• Check with your physician and health care plan to see if you can get a prescription for a cane.

• Your cane should reach from the ground to your wrist bone when your arms are handing by your sides.

• For icy conditions, you can get clamp-on grips or "spikes" that flip up when you don't need them. If you don't want to purchase a spike, another idea is to attach a beer bottle cap to the rubber tip of the cane. The serrated edge of the cap helps the tip of the cane dig into the ice. An easy way to attach the bottle cap is to use "Shoe Goo": put a glob of "Shoe Goo" on the bottle cap, press the tip onto it, and let sit overnight. You can also attach the bottle cap by drilling a hole through the bottle cap and cane tip, then fastening the cap with a "pop rivet" or a nut and bolt. You can get extra rubber cane tips at a hardware store, so that you can change the tips as needed. Keep the cane tip with the bottle cap in your pocket or purse. When you get to an area that is icy, just slip off the regular tip and replace it with the "ice tip".

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